The Picture

Last Friday morning, my heart was hurting.  It was a hurt that I’ve yet to experience in this journey of adoption, and I’m confident it’s a hurt that I’ll feel again soon. I was in the Brentwood Baptist Church worship center at the Summit9 conference in Nashville, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.  There she was… a picture of a precious, little Asian girl.  Her picture was actually one of several pictures hanging from the ceiling over the stage.  The children in these pictures were likely orphans, but there was something different about her picture.  Her dark eyes and sweet smile pierced my heart, and I felt like she was looking right at me. 

As I sat there on that pew, the thoughts came, “Does my precious, little Asian girl look like that?  What does she look like?  Where is she right now and what is she doing?  Is my little girl safe?  Is someone protecting her?  Are her needs being met?  When will we meet?  And when will we be able to bring her home?”  There was a longing in my heart, a longing like I’ve never experienced.  It was a longing for my precious, little Asian girl.  It was a longing for my daughter.  And until the day we meet and bring her home, that longing will remain.  You see, right now, something just isn’t right.  Something is missing.  Our family as it is just isn’t complete, and until our Gotcha Day, my heart will hurt. 

As I consider my hurt, I wonder if the pain in my heart is similar to the pain that God feels in his heart.  It just makes sense to me that God’s heart hurts for me and for all his children, as he waits for us to become a part of his family.  His precious, little girls and boys that he simply can’t take his eyes off of.  God longs for us too.  He longs to love us and to know us, and to adopt us into his family.  So, maybe in this way, my heart is a little more in tune with God’s heart…a God who has a heart for adoption… a God who has a heart for the fatherless.  My pain makes a little more sense now.  And even though the pain will continue, I’m trying to be okay with it.  Because maybe, just maybe, I’m becoming a little more like my heavenly Father during this adoption journey.  And maybe that’s one of the reasons Kelli and I are on this journey in the first place.