The Picture
Last Friday morning, my heart was
hurting. It was a hurt that I’ve yet to
experience in this journey of adoption, and I’m confident it’s a hurt that I’ll
feel again soon. I was in the Brentwood Baptist Church worship center at the
Summit9 conference in Nashville, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. There she was… a picture of a precious,
little Asian girl. Her picture was
actually one of several pictures hanging from the ceiling over the stage. The children in these pictures were likely
orphans, but there was something different about her picture. Her dark eyes and sweet smile pierced my
heart, and I felt like she was looking right at me.
As I sat there on that pew, the
thoughts came, “Does my precious, little Asian girl look like that? What does she look like? Where is she right now and what is she
doing? Is my little girl safe? Is someone protecting her? Are her needs being met? When will we meet? And when will we be able to bring her
home?” There was a longing in my heart,
a longing like I’ve never experienced. It
was a longing for my precious, little
Asian girl. It was a longing for my
daughter. And until the day we meet and bring
her home, that longing will remain. You
see, right now, something just isn’t right.
Something is missing. Our family
as it is just isn’t complete, and until our Gotcha Day, my heart will
hurt.
As I consider my hurt, I wonder if
the pain in my heart is similar to the pain that God feels in his heart. It just makes sense to me that God’s heart
hurts for me and for all his children, as he waits for us to become a part of
his family. His precious, little girls
and boys that he simply can’t take his eyes off of. God longs for us too. He longs to love us and to know us, and to
adopt us into his family. So, maybe in
this way, my heart is a little more in tune with God’s heart…a God who has a
heart for adoption… a God who has a heart for the fatherless. My pain makes a little more sense now. And even though the pain will continue, I’m
trying to be okay with it. Because
maybe, just maybe, I’m becoming a little more like my heavenly Father during
this adoption journey. And maybe that’s
one of the reasons Kelli and I are on this journey in the first place.