That Paper Pregnancy Thing

Waiting, waiting, and waiting some more. That’s where we are right now. And this place is one that we’re all too familiar with. We first got familiar with this whole waiting thing during our adoption journey with Sophie, and now we’re getting reacquainted with our friend once more.

Much of the international adoption process is often called a paper pregnancy, and there’s a lot of truth to that. Paperwork here, and waiting some more. Paperwork there, and waiting again. But, we’re getting a little closer as every day passes.

A few weeks ago, I posted a Facebook picture of our family on the day that we mailed our dossier to our China Team at Bethany Christian Services. I think there was some confusion about this pic because some people thought we were traveling to China when we took that pic, but we were actually just at Pony Express in Hendersonville paying for shipping.

Some of you may be wondering exactly what a dossier is, so I thought it might be helpful to explain what a dossier is all about. The dossier is the application of all kinds of important paperwork that eventually goes to China. In our dossier packet, you’ll find everything from a copy of our home study, birth certificates, marriage certificate, medical exams, reference letters, financial statements, and the list goes on and on.

Many of the documents in the dossier have to be notarized by a Notary Public and then authenticated at the county clerk’s office. But, it doesn’t stop there. Several of the documents (13 actually) then have to been authenticated with the state seal from the Secretary of State’s office in downtown Nashville. On top of that, many of the documents are time sensitive and have to be finalized within a certain time period. So, as you can imagine, it’s an ordeal to get all those documents together, and this is definitely one of the most stressful parts of the adoption process.

But, we did it! Our dossier has been shipped! And since we mailed the dossier to our adoption agency, it’s been sent to the Chinese Embassy, returned from the Chinese Embassy, and finally sent to China. And just last month (another drum roll please) we just got word that our dossier was logged in on March 29^th in China! That means we’re finally eligible for a match!

We have no idea when the match will happen, but we expect we’ll get a referral within the next few months. The actual matching process happens once each month. So, we wait for the day when we’re matched with our son. We wait for the day when we open that email and see his picture for the first time. We wait for the day when we travel to China to bring our precious little boy home to be a part of our forever family.

Again, we invite you to join our family in praying with us during our adoption process. There are still lots of things that will need to fall into place even after we get our match and before we travel to China, but we’re trusting in our faithful God to work our everything in his time just like he did with our adoption with our sweet Sophie.

Our adoption journey with Sophie was an emotional roller coaster to say the least. I was excited some days and absolutely scared to death other days. But so far, this adoption journey that we now find ourselves on now has been a little different. I haven’t been as scared of late, and God’s peace has been much more present. And you may be wondering why this adoption experience is different. Well, I’ve been wondering the same thing. The thing that I keep coming back to is a passage in the Old Testament, a passage that God uses to speak to me time and time again.

Isaiah 41:10 states, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” This is the verse that we memorized as part of our homeschool memory work last year, and for 2016 we’ve adopted this verse as our family verse for the year.  And these are the words that I remind myself of often. When I remind myself that God is with me, that he is near, things just aren’t as scary. When I remember that God will help me and give me strength, courage seems to win out more often.

Whatever you’re afraid of right now, take courage, my friend. Remember that our God is near, and he will give you the courage and strength to press on. So, let’s press on together.

The Johnson Family of Four?

Well, it’s hard to believe that we’ve been a family of four for a year and a half now. And as the days go by, it gets harder and harder to remember what life was like before we became a family of four. And honestly, that’s totally okay with me.

Since we brought our sweet Sophie home from China, we’ve experienced some of the most wonderful and yet some of the hardest times in the history of our family. But I’m understanding more every day about how that’s how it’s supposed to be. That’s simply part of God’s plan for us during this season in our lives. God has taught us so much during our adoption journey, and the teaching continues. Lessons about love and marriage. Lessons about sacrifice and loss. Lessons about joy and hope. My plan is to write more about our adoption journey as a part of my professional blog in the future, and Lord willing, I’ll finally get that going soon.

For now, suffice to say that we are so very thankful for our precious Sophie. God has  changed us forever through our little girl, and I can’t imagine life without her.

I often think about all of the people who helped bring Sophie home, and honestly, that’s been one of the hardest parts of the adoption for me. I often feel like we haven’t been able to communicate just how thankful we are. My hope is simply that it’s been evident during our adoption journey just how thankful we are for so many who’ve helped to make our dream of adopting a reality. Our family has been overwhelmed time and again by the kindness and generosity of countless families who have loved us so well. And as we’ve said many times before, we say “thank you” yet again.

Overall, Sophie has done great with adjusting to our family. She is silly, fun, sweet and affectionate. The longer she’s with us, the more of “the real Sophie” we see as her guard goes down and her personality shines through. We’ve worked so very hard to form a secure attachment with her, and we’re seeing some of that hard work pay off. Like when Kelli and I took our first overnight trip without either of the girls in August. That was Sophie’s first night without either of us since we got back from China, and that was 15 months at the time of the trip. But Sophie had a loving grandmother and sister with her while Kelli and I were gone on our little trip, and she did just great.

Attachment is still the name of the game for our family these days as it is with so many adoptive families. For Kelli and I, it’s all about making up for lost time and those important moments that Sophie should have experienced during the first year or two of her life but likely didn’t. Like someone to give her undivided attention as we play the same Paw Patrol and Hot Wheels script over and over and over. Or someone to hold her tight and speak soft words of comfort when she’s hurt. Or someone to gently rock her to sleep at night. Or someone to tell her how precious and loved she is.

When we started this adoption journey, the plan was for our journey to continue even after we adopted Sophie. We had always planned to adopt again, and God continues to put that plan on our hearts. So, just in case you haven’t heard, the Johnson’s are adopting again! All of us (even Bethany and Sophie) will be going back to China later this year, and this time we’ll be bringing home a…drumroll please…little boy! We don’t have a match yet, but we’ll certainly get the word out when we do. For now, we continue with our “paper pregnancy” and anticipate meeting Bethany and Sophie’s little brother soon.

As the word gets out about our current adoption, some of you have already asked if we’re doing any fundraising and how you can help. We may do some fundraising in the future, but for now, we humbly ask that you join us in praying for our precious little boy that God has chosen for us. Pray for his safety and protection. Pray that God will use his caregivers to show him how special and loved he is. Pray that someone will feed him when he’s hungry and comfort him when he’s hurt or scared. And pray for us as we make the transition to a family of five. We just can't wait to introduce you to the newest member of the Johnson family some time later this year!